How to get on the same page with your partner when buying a home
It takes two … and being on the exact same page isn’t always required. See below to discover which couple type you are & how to navigate the home buying process together!
Same Brain Couple
Ever meet those couples that just have everything in common? They both drink almond milk hazelnut lattes, they love shopping at Target together on the weekend, and they’ll sit side by side cheering during Sunday afternoon football. Their habits, values and likes all track. While this type of couple is more rare, these buyers are able to get on the same page with ease. If you share a similar brain, start by listing everything you’d most like and most dislike in a new home. Then, out of this master list, create your top 3 Must Haves in a home; and your next 3-5 Nice to Haves. Think about if there are any deal-breakers and list those as well. Make sure you are aligned in your priorities. This list will become your best friend — besides me! — in your home search. It will help you refine, define and know which houses are worth seeing and which to skip.
Opposites Attract Couple
He likes vacationing in the mountains; she likes the beach. She likes Sunday brunch and he likes sleeping in. She never tires of events & friends - the more the merrier!; and he likes his down time. Opposites attract and couples who have different likes and habits tend to have different home needs. Here are a few easy steps to try if you are an opposites-attract couple:
Figure out if there are any overlapping Must Haves and focus on those being the lighthouse beacon in your search.
In addition to your overlapping short-list of Must Haves, determine if there are any individual Must Haves for each person. Note those but keep in mind your must haves list should not exceed 3-4 items. Then list each person’s 3-5 Nice to Have features.
Agree to disagree. You don’t have to be aligned on everything. If having a big yard is super important to him and it would make or break his home experience, she is probably willing to say - sure, you take care of the yard work, and let’s make it a priority. Also if one partner is absolutely in love with a home and the other partner is lukewarm it is likely still worth considering. Once you make that house your home, you’ll likely both fall in love.
Follow The Leader Couples
The most common couple type is the follow-the-leader. While there may not be one distinct leader in all things life, in the home search and in home needs, one partner is leading the way. One partner cares more about Must Haves and Deal Breakers. Here are some tips to make your home search easier:
Decide if the “follow” partner has 1 or 2 must haves that need to be met. If so, factor these in.
If one partner is known for being more decisive and intuitive, follow that person. Home buying takes a leap of faith, an acceptance of healthy risk and being able to quickly (in most cases) pull the trigger on moving forward. If one partner is better at this, defer to him/her when it comes to making the decisions and trust you can count on him/her.
If your partner seems extremely rigid about their home needs, try to talk through how to help him/her feel more at ease with the process. I will prepare you and be there every step of the way, but your life partner can be a great resource in truth-talking and providing the security that you’re “in this together”.
Want a fun exercise to do together? This DISC personality profile assessment is a quick way to identify how similar or different you are. D’s & I’s are the decision makers, while S’s & C’s tend to need a little encouragement.
Ready to start your couples adventure together? Like, save or share this article and reach out today.
